Until We Bleed
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: There are times when she wondered if he regularly robbed her of her senses. Because no matter how hard she tried, she could not resist him. Alec/Renesmee. Complete.


_I'm naked_

_I'm numb_

_I'm stupid_

_I'm staying_

_And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'_

**-Kleerup ft. Lykke Li, Until We Bleed**

* * *

There are times when she wondered if he regularly robbed her of her senses. Because no matter how hard she tried, she could not resist him.

* * *

It was obvious why they couldn't be together. He was practically a sociopath, a sadist who fed on violence and blood. He would do the most _terrible_, cruel things without a second thought and all the while putting up this deceivingly angelic veneer. He wasn't the nicer sibling; at least with Jane you knew she was evil… but Alec? No, never.

But she didn't know this; he made her blind to all the flaws in their relationship.

* * *

Some subconscious part of her knew that Alec wasn't what he made her perceive he was. But she ignored it, just like she ignored her mother's panicked screams and her father's angry words when she told them about Alec.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper even Emmett tried to reason with her.

"He's bad news,"

"What are you _thinking_?"

"He's dangerous!"

"_How could you_?"

Even Jacob had been doubtful and difficult, spouting about how Alec would've probably killed her all those years ago without a second thought if Aro had allowed him to.

She didn't care; he made her deaf to what other people said.

* * *

There are times when she wanted tell him what she really thought of him, the Volturi and all the evil things they did so guiltlessly. And there are also times she wanted to just ask him of the most simple of things, take her out for some ice cream, tell Jane to stop tormenting her… allow her to see her family again.

But every time she opened her mouth to ask, shout, complain, he looked at her with those red fathomless eyes and her tongue swelled, her throat constricted and her voice was gone.

He made her mute so she couldn't stand up for herself.

* * *

Some days she thought of what it was like before she met Alec and got swept away from all that she knew. How simple and almost_ perfect_ everything was.

She had a whole coven of vampires that loved her unconditionally – her protective Dad, her understanding Mom, her brilliant Grandpa Carlisle, her loving Grandma Esme, her sweet Aunt Alice, her compassionate Aunt Rosalie, her wise Uncle Jasper and her eternally fun Uncle Emmett.

She had her best friend, Jacob, who always made her laugh, played fetch with when they were bored and pulled pranks with on Sam just for kicks. His pack had always treated her warmly, Leah was sarcastic and amusing as hell, giving her cynical and rude advice about boys and Seth was sweet and considerate even though he constantly borrowed money from her like she was an ATM machine.

Her life was _easy_. She had practically everything and she was, most of all, _free_.

And there were days that she yearned for that old life, wanting to escape from the chains of the Volturi, away from their sadistic games and search for power. Except days turned into months and months turned into years and before she knew it, a decade had passed and she was no close to the freedom she desired.

There was only one thing that kept her there and she knew it was Alec. _Alec, Alec, Alec._

She didn't even know what she felt for him. She didn't know what she felt for him from the start. She rationalized that it was a strange crush formed because the danger and excitement he gave her was alluring and she was still young, rebelling from her parents and all that she knew.

That was Alec, an escape route from them that led her straight into a much worse prison.

Still, there are times when she thought she might love him, might've learned to somewhere along the way. In those moments when he was almost kind and gentle with her – when he would push her hair back behind her ear when it covered her face, when he caressed her hand while holding it in his, when he would kiss the back of her neck in the mornings when she first woke up – and she thought that she might, she _could _love him.

Then she remembered all the things he's done and made her do and she thought she might not love him at all, could _never _love him at all and she wanted nothing more than to disappear.

So, she tried to make herself numb to it all because Alec didn't do that.

* * *

**I've officially fallen in love with this couple. Nessie/Jacob got boring and Nessie/Nahuel just doesn't have the dynamic this ship has. **


End file.
